Letting Go of Your Past, Step 5

Breakthrough happens the moment we make a choice and take action. This is not a once-and-for-all type of thing.  It’s the beginning of a transformational journey.


Forgiveness is often a process. Sometimes we may say the words, forgiving on an intellectual level, and this may be the best we know at the moment. But don’t be surprised if true forgiveness takes some time to grow. The more you experience emotional healing, the sooner you will be able to forgive from a deeper place and rebuild the relationships.


For me, once the deeper healing had taken place, I could embrace life from a new perspective. I began to wake up each day with new passion, new dreams, new relationships, and new energy.

Letting Go of Your Past, Step 4

Step 4. Forgive Yourself

It seems like no matter where we have been or what we have done, this step seems ninety stories high. How in the world will we ever scale the heights of this one?

But this step is key; this is where the other steps have led. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself is absolutely essential if you hope to live in the freedom you deserve. They allow us to simply let go. 


Self-forgiveness is what allows us to let go of our offense, of the emotional pain that accuses us, holds us back, and threatens to undo us. Forgiving ourselves frees us to “let go” emotionally of the part of ourselves that is to blame, freeing us to start again on a path in life that leads to enjoying life to the fullest.


Self-forgiveness is the KEY to letting go of the past that won’t let go of you. But, how do you do that?

Letting Go of Your Past, Step 2

Remember how I said that it doesn’t matter how far away you go, you still run into people or situations that emotionally bring you back to your past? I experienced this firsthand.

I would drive into town and see a little blonde child walking down the sidewalk with an older sister. The overwhelming pain would come rushing back into my broken heart.

What could I do?

I went back to my first step and reminded myself I had a choice. I could run from the pain or I could face the pain. I might feel some immediate relief if I denied the hurt, but it didn’t take long before another situation would pop up and I would be faced with that wrenching pain again.

But here is what I found to be most helpful: I named the emotion I was feeling. I asked myself, What is my emotional pain about at this moment?

Step 2. Name the emotion.

Letting Go of Your Past, Step 1

The morning after the accident, my Dad came to my bedroom door and said in his deep baritone voice, “You’ve got to get up. We have to keep going.” … 

Like you, most days I didn’t even think about crawling out of bed, I just did it. But on this particular day, getting out of bed was the biggest step I took.

Step 1: Realize you have a choice.

I had a choice.

At the time I had no idea how making the choice to get out of bed would impact me in the many years to come. CHOICE is the mechanism to BREAKTHROUGH. I could either choose to stay in bed and be miserable or get up and hope for some glimmer of light.


Letting Go of Your Past Introduction

Have you noticed how your past follows you wherever you go? No matter how far away you move, somehow you run into someone or something that reminds you of the very person or situation you were trying to escape. 


I have good news. We may not be able to change the past circumstances but we can choose whether we carry the backpack full of regrets. It’s all part of our story.


In this series, I am going to take you through part of my journey and introduce you to 5 Simple Steps that allowed me to go from barely surviving to fully experiencing life. I will show you how, you, too, can transform your life. You will not want to miss this series.

Stepping Out Stronger, Part D

The challenge we are faced with is not slipping back into how things were before. In the middle of the crises, it’s easy to say, I won’t ever take this for granted or we will have family time each week or whatever it may be. However, when we find our NEW NORMAL, it will be easy to get back into “what was comfortable before.” So, how will we keep from NOT FORGETTING, what we learn and make the necessary changes so they will stick.


There are a few things I would like to suggest.

  1. Journal the lessons that you have learned, write an article or share it in a blog. Write it down to help you remember.
  2. Find a photo that reminds you of the change. For example, you may want to re-introduce family time. Just take a photo of the family around the dinner table or playing a game together.
  3. Take a photo, enlarge it and put it in a frame to hang on the wall as a reminder of the family togetherness, or something indicating the change into the New Normal.


My friend shared with me a big lesson that she learned through all of this. Because she had been isolated through some horrible circumstances several years ago in much worse conditions, she had no fear when the Coronavirus started spreading. She knew if she could make it through what she had experienced before, she would certainly make it through this. She was stronger than she realized and had learned some lessons she will never forget. It is her story.